Dear co-worker,

Dear co-worker,
I appreciate you being excited about my pregnancy, really I do. But let's get a couple things straight. First of all, it is still WAY too early to be patting or rubbing my belly. Maybe when I'm 8 months along and have a hugely obvious pregnant belly, I won't mind. But for right now, let's continue to respect each others' personal space, m'kay? Also, announcing that you are going to pat my belly does not excuse the actual act of patting, because I'm too nice to a) swat your approaching hand away or b) say "Hold it, sister!!" Please, let's just keep our hands to ourselves for a few more months.

Second, I have no objection to you commenting on my growing belly. Comments like "Oh, you look like you're starting to show!" or "Look at your cute belly!" are a-ok. But let's refrain from things like "You're starting to pudge out now, aren't you?" Really, that doesn't make anyone feel good.

Respectfully,
Your moody pregnant speech-therapist