4 week picture

It is a bit early for belly pictures, but I do like the fact that we have a picture of us from the 4 week mark. Here's a picture of us from Stewart's cousin's wedding...can you tell we're a bit happy?

Early emotions

I've certainly run the gamut of emotions since finding out I'm pregnant. After the initial shock wore off, there was about a week of delirious happiness. I really wanted to tell our families, but in a way I'm glad that we've had a couple of weeks of this "secret" between Stewart and I. I felt relief at not having to deal with the disappointment of a negative pregnancy test or getting my period. I felt hopeful and optimistic about the next 9 months and beyond ecstatic about a child coming into our lives early next year.

Those emotions lasted for about a week. Then last Wednesday, I got a big dose of reality. I just started thinking about how many of my friends have had miscarriages, and how daily on the message boards someone else reveals that they have had one. I started getting really scared and nervous, and started thinking that there's no way we could be so lucky to get pregnant on the first try AND get through our first pregnancy without a miscarriage. Nothing happened to bring on these emotions (except hormones perhaps), but I just had a nagging feeling of worry and nerves. I felt slightly better the rest of the week, especially after my first appointment and scheduling my first ultrasound. But it was yesterday in the shower that I finally got that sense of peace and happiness back, when the verse came into my head that says "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you" Jeremiah 1:5. It just reminded me that God already has a plan for this baby, and my worrying is not going to do anything to change what has already been determined. Of course I hope and pray that we have no problems with this pregnancy and that this little one will be our healthy first child. And if that is to be the case, then God is already setting that into motion. Thinking about this just allowed me to give a big sigh of release and turn my focus off of the negative thoughts. We plan to tell Stewart's parents a week from today, and that has gotten me really excited and back to feeling super happy. Such a crazy roller coaster of emotions....I wonder what tomorrow's feelings will be!

In other random thoughts, I referred to the baby as a "he" today! I haven't had any feelings of whether it's going to be a boy or a girl, so I wonder if this is my subconscious mother's intuition!

5 weeks

So today I am 5 weeks and 1 day pregnant, and for the most part, I'm feeling good. The week I found out we were pregnant, I had been feeling just kind of "ick" in my stomach. Nothing major, just kind of blah. Last week was about the same, with some extremely minor nausea. The big change last week was my porn star boobs! Seriously, I look like I've had a boob job. I've had some minor cramping the whole time...apparently it's my uterus preparing to grow and stretch. I've been surprised that I'm not more tired at all and have been taking advantage of by trying to continue my regular exercise routine. I have toned down the intensity a bit and the doctor said no ab work at all. I feel slightly guilty because I hadn't made the best food choices in the last month, so I kinda feel like I didn't start off the pregnancy on the right foot in terms of nutrition. That first week of "ick" feeling I had made some peanut butter and jelly bars; they were one of the only things that really appealed to me so I ate them like they were the last food on earth. Really healthy, huh? Sweets have always been my downfall and I can tell you that nothing has changed in that regard!

Wondering how big the baby is right now? Last week it was the size of a poppy seed, but look how we've grown! The size of an apple seed. :-)

Welcome to my secret pregnancy journal!

I have officially become a child of the technology age. Soon after we learned we were pregnant (more on that later, of course), I attempted to start writing in a journal, something that I have done on and off throughout the years. But I found that I couldn't write fast enough, was frustrated by my sloppy handwriting, and wanted to do things like add pictures. So, I turned to the internet, but not without taking precautions. I am so paranoid about someone finding out about this blog that I even made a new gmail/blogger account, just so there was no way that anyone could accidentally come across it. So if you're reading this, you are one of two types of people: a) members of "The Bump" who don't actually know me in real life, or b) a very select group of family members who know our happy news. Actually right now, there isn't anyone who falls in that second category, since we haven't told anyone yet, which is killing me! But for whoever is reading this, let me catch you up....

This was our first attempt at trying for a baby, and I guess we had beginners' luck! I honestly can say that I wasn't expecting that I would get pregnant on the first try. Of course I was hoping it would happen, but I was realistic and trying not to get my hopes up. I took my first pregnancy test (from the Dollar Store) way earlier than I should have (10DPO, for you charters) , so I really didn't think I would see that second line that I so desperately wanted to see. I knew I was looking for a line, but really what I saw was a shadow of a line. I woke Stewart up and he agreed that maybe it could be a line. So I just decided that it was too early to test and I'd try again in two days. Well, that plan was shortlived, because by the time I got home from work I was dying to test again. Stewart wasn't home yet, but I just couldn't wait. I used another dollar store test (no sense shelling out big bucks for my obsessiveness), and this time, there were definitely two lines. One was very faint, but it was there. Can you see it??


Well, I totally didn't react the way I thought I would. I had always envisioned myself crying, screaming, jumping up and down, etc. But I was really in such a state of shock, I was quite calm. I think I muttered "oh my gosh" a couple times, and then proceeded to wander around the house in a daze for an hour or so until Stewart got home. Poor guy hadn't even closed the door before I blurted out "I think I'm pregnant". The test was still pretty iffy....I know a line is a line, but this was still so faint that we were still kind of reserved in our reactions. We decided that I'd test the next morning with a First Response test (pulling out the big guns), and we got our confirmation. Pregnant!


It was (and still is) very early in the pregnancy, so we decided not to tell anyone yet, even though we were getting ready to spend Memorial Day with Stewart's family. We're planning to tell them in a week, when I'll be 6wks. It has been SO hard not to tell my mom, but I will be seeing her in two weeks and really want to tell her in person so I'm making myself wait. Everyone else will get the news either after our ultrasound at 12wks or after the first trimester. I've already had my first appointment, which was basically just an orientation where the nurse got my medical history, oriented me to the office, etc. I have my first ultrasound scheduled at 8wks, and I cannot wait! This truly is a dream come true!